My Disaster

Mother I've been trying to pretend I'm someone else
I'm afraid my conclusions aren't good enough to tell
you're the beacon of my future
sometimes I think I'm you
but I'm not.

And all my dissertations say that everything is gray
I have learned the distractions just lead to our decay
I don’t know about the world
I know about the place I’d long to be.

Let this be my disaster
let this be the reason I see
that the things I am after aren’t gonna set me free.

I’m reading books that paint the world in black and white and gray
but I still haven’t figured the way it ought to change
and babies are crying, they’re dying and I can’t look away.

The wise they say are foolish hand the blind can better see
but I can’t help but feel it’s my fault to a degree
I don’t know about the world, I know about the place I’d long to be.

Let this be my disaster
let this be the reason I find
that the things I am after
aren’t never gonna be mine

Let this be my disaster
let this be the reason I see
that the things I am after aren’t gonna set me free.